100,001 Funny Quotes

“I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.”

“Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!”

“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”

“There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.”

“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”

“Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.”

“Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”

“Everyone needs believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”

“Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”

This page contains 10 funny quotes, continue browsing through the numbered pages to see the rest of these funny quotes.

If in case you have other funny quotes to share, you may do so by writing to us through the comment section below.

Share