100,001 Funny Quotes

January 16, 2010 in Culture & Society, Entertainment by Kotsengkuba | No comments

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“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.” – Mae West

“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” – Benny Hill

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year” – Victor Borge

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” – Oscar Wilde

“I speak two languages, Body and English.” – Mae West

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” – John Lennon

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” – Jack Handey

“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself” – Mark Twain

“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.” – Helen Rowland

“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” – George Gobal

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