Travel Agent

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.” – Mae West

“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” – Benny Hill

“Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year” – Victor Borge

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” – Oscar Wilde

“I speak two languages, Body and English.” – Mae West

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” – John Lennon

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” – Jack Handey

“Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself” – Mark Twain

“Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.” – Helen Rowland

“If it weren’t for electricity we’d all be watching television by candlelight.” – George Gobal

This page contains 10 funny quotes, continue browsing through the numbered pages to see the rest of these funny quotes.

If in case you have other funny quotes to share, you may do so by writing to us through the comment section below.