Posts Tagged “funny quotes”

SMS Jokes

by Noel Cabacungan on January 16, 2010

Here are sms jokes that you may send to your friends, relatives and loved ones. Most of these sms jokes comes in 160 characters so you may send them to your friends directly although some of them are past the 160-character limit an ordinary GSM phone could send so you would have to re-compose them, shorten them or otherwise, send them as multi-part sms jokes.

SMS Jokes

» If you need advice, text me… If you need a friend, call me… If you need me, come to me… If you need money… ……….. THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

» Friends r like fishes. U have to sit patiently for a long time to catch a good one. Just like I caught u. So better stay nice otherwise I will FRY YOU..;)

» True friends are like Diamonds… they are real and rare. False friends are like leaves… they are scattered everywhere

» A good friend is like a computer; me ‘enter’ ur life, ’save’ u in my heart, ‘format’ ur problems, ’shift’ u 2 opportunities & never ‘delete’ u from my memory

» Qualities a friend must have: Cute as crocodile. Smart as donkey. Active as turtle. Fit as hippo. Matured as monkey. Sincerity like dog. No doubt you are my good friend

» Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.

» Borrow money from pessimists–they don’t expect it back

» What’s the difference between a man and E.T.? – E.T. phoned home.

» Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

» If you jogged backward … would you gain weight?

» If you can’t change your mind, are you sure you still have one?

» I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

» I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

» Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.

» Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

» I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

» Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile …. but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?

» Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that’s how dogs spend their lives.

» I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.

» News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

» CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

» This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

» I want to suck you… lick you… wanna move my tongue all over you…wanna feel you in my mouth…yep, tat’s how u…eat an ice cream!

» This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

» We will now upgrade your brain…….Please wait……..Searching…….Searching…….Still searching……..Sorry, no brain found !!!

» Your future depends on your dreams – So go to sleep!

» HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket,the smell is unbearable!!!

» 20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one idiot is now holding his mobile in his hand

» No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

» God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

» Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop

» If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long?

» Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

» Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ………………]

» Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i’m playin cards n i’m missin the joker!!

» A girl phoned me the other day and said…”Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home

» Always remember you’re unique – just like everyone else.

If you have mor SMS JOKES with you that aren’t yet listed here, you may want to share them to everyone by posting them on the comment section below. We all love SMS jokes, don’t we?

100,001 Funny Quotes

by Noel Cabacungan on January 16, 2010

“Don’t be so humble – you are not that great!”

I don’t like quotes or quotations, they make me feel like I’m one of those who thought they needed those self-help books, storm bookstores for all books on self-improvement blah blah only to realize later that their tower collection of self-help and self-improvement books gave them nothing but towers or books. Get that? It can be frustrating to waste so much time on them, and whether you’re aiming to become an internet poker superstar or a world-famous pianist, you’re capable without the books. Yeah, that’s right. Without the books. But quotes, however, can be interesting when they’re humorous.

However, I love funny quotes, hilarious quotes. They all make me want to put them on my t-shirts. So here’s just some of the funny quotes from famous personalities that I have collected in the past.

“There’s no half-singing in the shower, you’re either a rock star or an opera diva.” – Josh Groban

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.” – Robert McCloskey

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.” – Oscar Wilde

“I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.” – Oscar Wilde

“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.” – Oscar Wilde

“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.” – Oscar Wilde

“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself.” – Ethel Barrymore

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.” – Oscar Wilde

“In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.” – Oscar Wilde

This page contains 10 funny quotes, continue browsing through the numbered pages to see the rest of these funny quotes.

If in case you have other funny quotes to share, you may do so by writing to us through the comment section below.

Hindi SMS

by Noel Cabacungan on January 16, 2010

Here’s our first installment for Hindi SMS which includes, but not limited to, Funny Hindi SMS, Cute Hindi SMS and Romantic Hindi SMS. Be sure to book mark our site for our next installment.

Funny Hindi SMS

  • Mere dost tanhai me na waqt bitaya karo, Kabhi kabhi mehfilon me bhi aaya karo, Kiya hua jo toot gaye hen samney k 4 dant, Phir bhi moun khol ker muskuraya karo..
  • Hai tu agar mera dilbar, Hai tu agar mera dilbar, To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar
  • Dil ka dard dil torrne waley kiya jaaney, Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney, Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main, Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney
  • In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please! Saint: I don’t have. TT: Where do you want to go? Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya! TT: Come, lets go! Saint: Where? TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.
  • Phulo ki mahak ko churaya nahi jata, suraj ki kirno ko chupaya nahi jata, kitni bhi soni ho girlfrnd apni, dusro ki girlfrnd ko bhulaya nahi jata..
  • Bachiyon k chakker me larke jate lutt, Or khatey hain un k bhaiyon se wo kutt… iss waja se larke larkiyon ko chor detay hain, Moqa mil tey hi un k bhaiyon ko phor dete hain.. Na kare makeup to un se banda dar jata hay, Karti hain itna makeup k weight barh jata hay
  • Lab pe ati hai Dua ban k tamanna meri, Dil karta he band krwa doon sim tere, Dor duniya ka tere DAM se ujala hojaye, Jo mjhe sms na kare Uska range kala HOjaye….
  • Jab Gabbar paida hua tab uski maa ne use 2-3 thappad lagaye Father-kya hua? Kambakht peda hote hi puch raha tha kitne admi the?
  • Q: Woh kya hy jo Dil main han, Mann main hy pr Dhadkan main ni? Aary Aamir Khan !!!!!!!
  • Ek Aadmi Roz Subha Darakht Ki Shaakh Pe Charrh K Baith Jata Tha. Poocho Kyoon.? Bechara MBA kr k Paagal Ho Gya Tha, Apne Apko BRANCH MANAGER Samajhta Tha.
  • Dimag hay To Jawab do:- Tumhare Bhai Ki Bhabhi Ki Saas Ke Bhai Ki Biwi Ki Saas Ke Pati Ke Jamai Ke Pote Ki Maa Ki Nanand Ka Bhai Apka kaun??? Answer=Tumare Daddy(Papa)
  • Kabhi Tum Black & White Kabhi Rangeen Lagti Ho. Kabhi Tum Shabnam Shabnam Kabhi Tum Clean Lagti Ho. Kabhi Tum Khatti Meethi Kabhi Namkeen Lagti Ho. Kuch Bhi Kaho Tum Hum Se Par Humen To Tum Barri HASEEN Lagti Ho.
  • Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
  • Muje Bakhsh De jo Khata Karun!

    Jo Mile Hayat-e-Khizar Mujhe
    Or Usay Mai Sarf-e-Sana Karun

    Tera Shukar Phir B Adaa Na ho
    Tera Shukar Kese Adaa Karun

    Tere Lutf ki koi Hadd Nahi
    Ginu kis Tarah K Adad Nahi

    Nahi koi Tere Siwa Mera
    Jise Yaad Tere Siwa Karun

    Mai Bohat He Aajiz-o-Be-Nawa
    Tere Agay Meri Bisaat Kiya

    Mai Kaha Karun Tu Suna Karey
    Tu Diya Karey Mai Liya Karun

    Tere Dar Pe Kham Rahey Sar Mera
    Teri Rehmton Mai Guzar Mera

    Koi Bhol Ho To Muaf Kar
    Muje Bakhsh De jo Khata Karun!

Cute Hindi SMS

  • Har ek se achi baat karna FITRAT hai hamari, har ek khush rahe ye HASRAT hai hamari, koi hum ko yaad kare ya na kare, har ek ko yaad karna aadat hai hamari.
  • Yaadon mein hum rahein ye ehsaas rakhna, nazron se door sahi dil ke paas rakhna, ye nahi kehte ke sath raho dur sahi par yaad rakhna.
  • Fasle mita kar aapas me pyar rakhna, dosti ka ye rishta hamesha yunhi barkarar rakhna, bichad jaye kabhi aap se hum, aankhon me hamesha hamara intejar rakhna.
  • Hamne zindagi ki shurarat S se ki, s se suraj, s se subah, s se swagat, s se saaz, s se sangeet par phir s se samay ne aisi karwat badli k s se hamari shaadi ho gai, aur fir jeewan ka arth saas, sasur, saala, saali, sasural or sankat ho gaya to hamne s se sharab pi ne lage, so beaware of s.
  • Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge, kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge, choice zara sochke karna, zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge.
  • Sms karenge hum ek duje ko bari bari, hame lagti hai ye rasam badi pyari, ye sms milte hi ek sms bhej dena, kyunki hame bilkul pasand nahi udhari.
  • Kisi na kisi pe kisi ko aetbar ho jata hai, ajnabi koi shaks yaar ho jata hai, khubiyo se nahi hoti mohabbat bhi sadaa, khamiyo se bhi aksar pyaar ho jata hai.
  • Nighahe nighago se milakar to dekho, naye logo se rishta banakar to dekho, hasrate dil me dabane se kya faida, apne hoton ko hilakar to dekho, asmaan simat jayega tumhare agosh me, chahat ki bahen failakar to dekho.
  • Tum kya jano kya hai tanhai is tute hue patte se pucho kya hai judai, yu bewafa ka ilzam na de zalim, is waqt se puch kis waqt teri yaad na aayi.
  • Aap ka ashiyana dil mein basaya hai, apki yado ko sine se lagaya hai, pata nahi yaad apki hi kyo aati hai, dost to hamne auro ko bhi banaya hai.
  • Sehmi si nigaho mein khwab hum jaga denge, sooni in raho pe phool hum khila denge, humare sang muskura ke to dekhiye, hum aapke har gum bhula denge.

Romantic Hindi SMS

  • ADA unki thi aur DEEWANE hum bane, WAFA wo NA kar sake aur BEWAFA hum bane. Yu to HAZAARO the BHEED me, SHUKRiYA unka jo unki NAZRO ke NiSHANE hum bane.
  • Deri hi sahi par duri to nahi, Intjar bhala par judaai to nahi. Milna bichdna to kismat hai apni, Aakhir insaan hai hum farishte to nahi.
  • Sitaro ko roshni ki kya zarurat, ye to khud ko jala lete hai. Aashiqo ko wafa ki kya zarurat, wo to bewafa ko bhi pyar kar lete hai.
  • Nazre Unhe dekna chahe to akho ka kya kasur? Har wqt khusbu unki aye to sanso ka kya kasur? Waise to sapne puch Kar nhi ate par sapne hi UNKE Aye to Rato ka Kya Kasur.
  • Aansoo aa jate hain aankhon mein, par labon pe hasi lani padti hai. Yeh mohabbat bhi kya cheez hai yaaro, jisse karte ho usi se chupani padti hai.

For more Hindi SMS and other funny quotes and inspirational quotes, please bookmark our site so you’ll be updated on our next SMS Hindi collection.